Me Too & Writing Romance: Age
Updated: Dec 14, 2020
While I plan the release of Peg’s Story: In Search of Self, I’m still writing. I have several short stories that I’m turning into romance novels. I want to make sure nothing I write undermines women. Therefore, I’m looking at myths and making myself some rules. The third one is about age.
Myth #3 – Women are less interested in sex as they age and men can’t get it up.
Have you noticed how the women in the Viagra ads always look twenty or more years younger than the men who need the pill? Even if they aren’t that much younger, the women have dyed their hair and taken care to look young, while men with a little gray at the temple are still considered sexy.
This age myth also feeds into the concept that the only reason that “nice ladies” have sex is for procreation (to make babies). It also supports the idea of women being “used up” if they’ve had too much sex. Really, get over this nonsense! The parts aren’t that fragile and menopause can be sexually liberating.
On the other side, pharmaceutical TV ads directed at consumers (in the U.S. – most countries don’t allow them) make it sound like most men over a certain age need help to perform. Of course, thanks to side effects of other medications that are pushed at older men, it’s often true. However, this focus on the man’s erection as the key to all sexual satisfaction is another misconception.
Bottom line: Sex is not only fun when it’s mutually satisfying, it’s healthy. Orgasm does good things to the body and skin to skin contact and all that touching is good for emotional and psychological health. We don’t age out of the desire for sex.
Me Too – Is ageism linked to the Me Too movement?
Well, one reason for older women to be less interested in sex, or more selective, is the accumulation of negative experiences with sexual aggressors and predators. So really, this is not entirely a myth. However, it should be.
Rule #3 – My heroines will include mature women
My heroines will include mature women who are willing to risk a relationship and enjoy sex, despite previous negative experiences.