Me Too & Writing Romance: Heroes

While I plan the release of Peg’s Story: In Search of Self, I’m still writing. I have several short stories that I’m turning into romance novels. I want to make sure nothing I write undermines women. Therefore, I’m looking at myths and making myself some rules. The fifth rule is about the hero of the story.

Myth #5 – Women Want the Rough and Tough Guy

Rough around the edges, tough enough no one will mess with his woman? Hopefully not rough with his woman, though? Secretly sweet inside and kind to kittens? Terrified of babies because they’re so helpless?

Is that image why the rough and tough guys so often have more confidence than the nice, polite, considerate guys?

Me Too Connection

As I write, this scene is still playing in my mind: A high school study hall. A dozen kids at most, mostly boys, a few girls. The girls and half the boys trying to focus on their schoolwork. The other boys carrying on rowdy conversation as they enter the room, being corrected once, twice. One girl annoyed with them. Maybe because of things the teacher can’t hear. Then a clear comment about the girl’s sexual activities broadcast to the entire room clearly. The girl landing a few punches as she cries out at the injustice of his talking about her after they’d broken up, then running out of the room in tears.

Shock when the teacher sends the boy to the office with a referral for sexual harassment. Just words? There doesn’t have to be touching? Half the boys, the other girls, still quiet. None telling the boy or his friends that they are jerks, none asking to go after the girl to make sure she’s okay. Staying out of it.

There doesn’t even have to be truth in the words. A lie does just as much damage. Rumors never die. Even with everything in the news, times have not changed for the better, not for that teenage girl this cold day in 2018.

Rule #5 – Heroes Wear White Hats

Not literally, unless I do a western romance. But my heroes will be good guys who stand up for what’s right, follow a code of honor, and treat women as equals worthy of respect.

www.sherimcguinn.com www.amazon.com/author/sherimcguinn

#heroeswearwhitehats #sexualharrassment #heroes #rumors #Romance #romancenovels #gossip #hero #sexualharrassmentinhighschool #metoo #MeToo

Me Too & Writing Romance: Happy Single

While I plan the release of Peg’s Story: In Search of Self, I’m still writing. I have several short stories that I’m turning into romance novels. I want to make sure nothing I write undermines women. Therefore, I’m looking at myths and making myself some rules. The fourth one is that single women can’t have meaningful lives and be happy.

Myth #4 – Women are incomplete without a partner.

Funny thing…married women will invite single men or single fathers for dinner, but they don’t invite single women unless there’s a suitable single match coming.

When my kids were little, I thought it might be just us – they were pretty rambunctious. Then we got invited for a barbeque by the mother of my youngest son’s friend – not a big party, just the two families, not a single man in sight. And she told me why she’d offered the invitation: She and her husband had grown up in that small town, had had the same group of friends for decades, and when her husband recovered from a life-threatening heart attack, one of those women told her “I’m so glad he got better. I’d have missed having you as a friend.” If her husband had died, they would not have continued including her in their gatherings! Unfortunately, this was not a unique situation.

We’re encouraging young girls to take STEM classes, we keep fighting for equal wages for equal pay, we’ve gotten more men involved in caring for their children, but socially married women still exclude single women. Based on conversations with married friends, I don’t think this is a planned action. It makes some sense that couples would gravitate towards couples for socializing.

But why are single men included more often than single women?

I suspect it’s because a single man is traditionally more likely to be career-centered, while a single woman must be looking for a partner, which makes her a potential threat. And a married woman is traditionally less likely to risk that relationship than a man (because she needs it), and she’s more likely to be the one doing the inviting. Note I used the word “traditionally”. We often continue behaviors that no longer apply to current circumstances, because they’ve been ingrained over generations.

Of course the expectation in a romance novel is that there’s a happily-ever-after or at least a happy beginning for a couple. However, it’s okay for men to be happy single. There’s no reason single women can’t be happy and have fulfilling lives. They’re actually in a better position to have a good partnership than if they go into one needy.

Me Too Connection

The idea that a woman needs to be attached harkens back to the bad old days when women were the property of their fathers, until they became the property of their husbands. That links to the attitude that men can do whatever they want with women and that once a woman’s been used, she’s inferior.

Rule #4 – My heroines will have meaningful lives.

My heroines will include suddenly and perpetually single women who are developing or already have meaningful activities in their lives beyond the traditional nurturing roles. They will talk with other women about things other than sex, relationships, fashion, and appearances. They will have non-romantic relationships with both men and women.

www.sherimcguinn.com www.amazon.com/author/sherimcguinn

#writingromance #Romance #romancenovels #metoo #MeToo #Writing

Me Too & Writing Romance: Age

While I plan the release of Peg’s Story: In Search of Self, I’m still writing. I have several short stories that I’m turning into romance novels. I want to make sure nothing I write undermines women. Therefore, I’m looking at myths and making myself some rules. The third one is about age.

Myth #3 – Women are less interested in sex as they age and men can’t get it up.

Have you noticed how the women in the Viagra ads always look twenty or more years younger than the men who need the pill? Even if they aren’t that much younger, the women have dyed their hair and taken care to look young, while men with a little gray at the temple are still considered sexy.

This age myth also feeds into the concept that the only reason that “nice ladies” have sex is for procreation (to make babies). It also supports the idea of women being “used up” if they’ve had too much sex. Really, get over this nonsense! The parts aren’t that fragile and menopause can be sexually liberating.

On the other side, pharmaceutical TV ads directed at consumers (in the U.S. – most countries don’t allow them) make it sound like most men over a certain age need help to perform. Of course, thanks to side effects of other medications that are pushed at older men, it’s often true. However, this focus on the man’s erection as the key to all sexual satisfaction is another misconception.

Bottom line: Sex is not only fun when it’s mutually satisfying, it’s healthy. Orgasm does good things to the body and skin to skin contact and all that touching is good for emotional and psychological health. We don’t age out of the desire for sex.

Me Too – Is ageism linked to the Me Too movement?

Well, one reason for older women to be less interested in sex, or more selective, is the accumulation of negative experiences with sexual aggressors and predators. So really, this is not entirely a myth. However, it should be.  

Rule #3 – My heroines will include mature women

My heroines will include mature women who are willing to risk a relationship and enjoy sex, despite previous negative experiences.

www.sherimcguinn.com www.amazon.com/author/sherimcguinn

#writingromance #matureromances #Romance #romancesformaturewomen #romancenovels #agisminromancenovels #viagra #metoo #sexandage #MeToo #Writing